Today I found myself
in an airplane bathroom looking in the mirror at the tired red-eyed reflection
of myself wondering how the hell I got myself in this situation again. As I returned to my seat and looked out the window,
I realized that if my inner dialogue was all written down, it would sound a
little bit like one of the many travel books I have read this summer where
inevitably a girl would find herself on an adventure around the world and have
no idea where it leads. I was also
thinking that if I were to be reading the book that was going down in my head
at the moment, I would definitely keep reading for the utter intrigue of where
the hell this chick would end up. I know
that most 23 year olds also say that they don’t know what they are doing with
their lives, but seriously, I feel like I am the only one. I have graduated from college, left to go
teach English for a year in Granada on a whim, and somehow ended up committing
to doing it again for a second year in Sevilla.
However this time, I feel even more unsure than I was the first time
around. This past summer, I have been
living under my parents roof and, I know I'm not supposed to say this as an
American girl in my early twenties, but I love it! I get to snuggle in a really comfortable bed
with my puppy, I get to have fantastic home cooked meals all the time with my
family, and sometimes, my mom even does my laundry. I get to watch home and garden television
shows, drink wine, and go to bed at a reasonable hour (for a person my parents
age). Maybe I am missing out on
something, and I should be living on my own and going out and partying every
night and filling my spare nights at home with shows like Jersey Shore and
discussing the latest trends in fashion instead of the latest trends in home
decorating and remodeling, but I don't care, I've had a great summer hanging
out with my parents. On top of all
that, I have also been part of a great relationship here at the end of the
summer that has restored some faith in the opposite sex. Finally somebody that I care about, that
cares about me back. I've been making
plenty of money working at a local Irish Pub that gives me plenty of hours and
I have plenty of money to save up. It
doesn't require that much brain power, but I have been getting some Spanish
practice in with the cooks and meeting a few cool people, including the
wonderful guy that I have been dating.
So, as I looked out of the plane window today, I found it really hard to
come up with reasons of why I was doing this.
I have a great place to live, get to spend time with my family, have a
great guy, a job that pays the bills and more……. yet I am travelling halfway
across the world to accept a teaching position in a small town in Spain? What???!
I don’t even want to be a teacher!
So, what else was there to do at the time really except for to tell
myself that I am a crazy person from hours upon hours of travelling and being
cooped up in a dark airplane with nobody that I can even look at and imagine
that they are thinking any of the same thoughts as I am. Quite honestly, it was pretty funny to look
around my flight leaving Houston to London and see that I was one of the only
Americans on the flight. 90% of the rest
of the flight was part of some Asian package tour, so I really was just jumping
right on in to being the minority and not speaking the language right off the
bat. After coming to terms with my inner
craziness, I close my eyes for a few hours of sleep. When I open my eyes, I see the sun rising
over the United Kingdom. It was so
beautiful! The clouds were reflecting
the light perfectly and I'm not sure if it was the sheer beauty of it, or the
few hours of sanity retrieving sleep, but I found myself thinking that maybe,
it won't be so bad. Yea sure, I don't
have any idea of where I will live, won't be doing some dream job, won't have a
set bedtime and home cooked meals, easy access to friends and family, but I think that it is going to be okay.
All in all, if the realizations keep coming little by little as they had
today, then this is going to be one hell of a fun, educational, and fulfilling
adventure. But, you will just have to
keep reading to find out!
