Well, I knew this was coming. The point when it would stop being a blur, and start being real. Honestly, I am still enjoying myself and making sure I am getting out and doing things, but I am missing people pretty badly right now. I can't tell you how much I just want to have a hug that means something, or just be silent and hold someone's hand and not have to say anything because that person knows that I love them and that they love me. I mean, there are people here that I have met that I can consider my friends now and such, but it is not the same. I want to hold someone's hand so badly and just have the energy we have built together be there and I will feel calm again. This isn't exactly homesickness, but I really want some sort of familiarity. I knew that I was going to be alone, so I have prepared myself for this, but it is still all I can think about for the last day or two. I have my crystals here with me and am spending time focusing my energy in to good thoughts and good thoughts for others, because I know I am so lucky. Yes, I worked hard for this, but I am also very lucky that things worked out and I am here instead of there. It is not that I want to come back, because I don't (at least not right now), but feeling lonely sucks! Maybe I am feeling this way because I am not feeling like I belong here in Sevilla. I mean, there are moments where I have the rush of endorphins and can take a solid breath and be like, "Yes, this is awesome, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now." But, those aren't as prevalent as I would like. I hope that I can feel the warm embrace of the city when I move to Granada on Saturday. That would really be comforting since I know that I will not actually be reaching my hug capacity any time soon.
Yesterday I went to get some absolutely amazing ice cream after school and was looking above the ice cream shop and saw this adorable little girl in the picture above with a broken arm. I just love kids, and she was so cute and enjoying playing hide and seek behind the windows with me and some other people down below, but it made me really miss my kids! I miss my kids at the church, and at Ellen's, and my kiddies that I nannied for. It makes me happy that in about a week and a half I will have a new set of kids to teach and be around.
Anyhow, I miss everyone so much and am sending my good energy your way. I love and miss all of you.
<3
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